Week of December 31st, 2007
How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions
New Year’s is the only holiday that celebrates the passage of time. Perhaps that’s why, as the final seconds of the year tick away, we become introspective. Inevitably, that introspection turns to thoughts of self-improvement and the annual ritual of making resolutions, which offer the first of many important tools for remaking ourselves. Here are the top twelve resolutions for most people:
- Eat right, lose weight and get in better physical shape
- Save or invest money
- Stick to a budget/debt reduction
- Enjoy more quality time with family & friends
- Find a soul mate or just a date
- Quit smoking and/or drinking
- Find a better job, get promoted or start a business
- Learn something new/further education
- Give back: volunteer and help others
- Get organized
- Reduce stress, have more fun and enjoy life more
- Travel for pleasure
Every year, we list our personal New Year’s resolutions and we know we need to change. The trouble is that fewer than 10% of people who set New Year’s resolutions actually achieve them, so those same resolutions will top next year’s list, too. We’ve all broken our share of New Year’s resolutions. Why are resolutions so difficult to keep and how can you ensure your success? Our resolutions often are something we feel we need to do, but not what we want to do. So how can you make this year truly different? Here are a few tips:
1. Take time to reflect. We have so many responsibilities, running from one to the next. It’s hard to find time for reflection, but it is what we need to do for something as important as setting goals.
2. Tune into your passions. We tend to notice what we’re not. We’re told we can do anything we put our mind to—so if we can’t do everything, we feel like failures. Focus on who you are, on producing a life you can enjoy. We’re all given talents. Focus on those. Before you decide on what you’ll take on for the year, make certain you are doing this goal for yourself. Aim for things that are truly important to you (vs. your mom, boyfriend, wife, boss, society), not what you think you ought to do or what others expect of you.
3. Pick a few goals—not twenty! Don’t overload yourself. It’s difficult enough for the average person to follow through on two or three ambitious New Year’s resolution; why on earth would you saddle yourself with more than you can handle? Choose the most pressing issue at hand—losing weight, improving your relationships, getting out of debt and saving money—and concentrate on those. Trying to do fifteen or twenty things simultaneously practically guarantees failure across the board.
4. Set realistic, yet achievable “stretch” goals. It goes without saying that most New Year’s resolutions are easier said (or written) than done—but if you set the bar way too high, you’re doomed from the start. Be realistic by setting achievable goals that stretch you to go further. Winning the lottery, for example, is out of your control. Saving money is totally in your power. Saving a little more than you think you can would be a stretch goal.
5. Commit. Make the decision that you will show up for your goals. If you’re contemplating putting a goal down that you always put down and never achieve, take a second look. How will this goal end differently this year? Find alternatives to a behavior that you want to change, and make this part of your resolution plan. So you want to quit smoking but you smoked to relax yourself? What other forms of relaxation are available to you?
6. Write goals down/make a plan. It’s a fact: writing down your goals gives you a higher chance of success. Describe your resolutions in specific terms. Instead of "I don’t want to be lazy," opt for "I want to exercise regularly" or "I will cut down on my television watching." Ensure success with a step-by-step plan. Work backwards by starting with the end vision of where you want to be and working backwards to where you are today. You’ll find an easy action plan to make your goals a reality.
7. Tell people/get accountability. Tell everyone you know. Talk to your spouse, best friend or family. One school of thought says that New Year’s resolutions are best kept to oneself, but look at it this way: the more people to whom you announce your resolution, the more people there will be to prod you along if you fall behind. Meet for lunch once a month with a group that will ask you, "So, how’s it going with your goal?"
8. Reward yourself. Following through on a New Year’s resolution is rarely easy, so a little Pavlovian conditioning goes a long way. Find ways to use regular rewards to pat yourself on the back and give yourself a little encouragement. Rewards create a feeling of doing something you want to do, not just what you’re forcing yourself to do. Even the smallest of rewards can work wonders as you move from milestone to milestone.
9. Focus with reminders. Once you’ve got your goals and plan in place, figure out ways to remind yourself. Some people post their goals in on their bathroom mirror or in their car. Others put reminders in their palm pilots or cell phones. Figure out what works for you.
10. Harness the power of emotion. When trying to change, you’re fighting a battle between emotion and logic. Focus on the good emotions—happiness, satisfaction, exhilaration—that you will feel if you achieve your goal. That’s how you can sustain your commitment to your goals. It’s about spending more time feeling good rather than feeling bad.
11. Believe and visualize yourself making the change. Visualization is a powerful process used by Olympic athletes, astronauts and great people throughout history. Visualize yourself on New Years Eve 2009 with all your goals achieved. What would that look like? How would it feel? Visualize once a day and see the difference it can make in your life.
12. Be brave and be persistent. It takes courage to move out of your comfort zone, but success breeds success. After you’ve made one change, you feel the passion and like it, because you have ventured out of your comfort zone and succeeded. You’re then motivated to make other changes. Even more importantly, you must be persistent. Don’t sweat the setbacks and don’t give up! Keep at it until you achieve the goals you set for yourself. It’s what you want, need and deserve. It may take a very short time and little effort, but more often, it takes persistent effort over time to change your life in any way.